Monthly Archives: November 2010

I’m a Mormon who feels led to join her local Quaker meeting. Do I still count as a member of the tribe?

Howdy, AMG readers:

Today’s query comes from “Sister-Friend,” a Mormon woman whose spiritual path has led her to Quakerism.  Does she still count as Mormon?  Is it possible to be an interfaith person?  Click right here to read more and weigh in!

We’ve moved to Patheos, but we still want your questions.  Don’t be shy: email askmormongirl@gmail.com.

Til next week,

Joanna

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Are Mormons really as happy as they appear? What’s with the perkiness?

Howdy, AMG readers.  This week’s query comes from Allison, a non-Mormon, who wants to know why all her Mormon friends seem to wear permagrins.   To read this column, please click right here, and the computer gods will whisk you away to our new home at Patheos.com.

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I’m 17; I’ve just been baptized; and I’m wracked with doubt. Help?

This week’s Ask Mormon Girl is up now at Patheos.com!

Please come visit me at my new spot, beloved AMG readers, and share your wisdom with the world.

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Nobody in my ward understands me. And I keep getting called to the nursery. Help!

Dear readers!  It’s busy time at Ask Mormon Girl while we get ready for a launch at a new location.  While we’re packing our handcart, we hope you’ll make do for a week with an oldie-but-goodie.  Stay tuned for new location info! 

Dear Ask Mormon Girl:

My husband and I are getting really frustrated by not being taken seriously or treated like grownups in our ward. We both have gone to college and have good jobs. We own a home. We have been married for seven years. But we don’t have kids. This is not just a choice because of infertility but also because of health issues. We are in limbo at church and get only nursery callings. We also get unneeded advice about how we are missing out on our ‘blessings.’ How do we grow closer to people in our ward without everyone assuming we are newlyweds and/or infertile? No one seems to want us for our own sake. Living in the most conservative county of Southeast Idaho might have something to do with it, but we like it here because of the mountains and climate. Moving isn’t an option. The sisters in the ward don’t want to be friends unless I’m in a playdate with them or reading church books in a book club. Help?

Thanks,

MS
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I have this nagging feeling that my marriage is all wrong. Help?

My concern sounds small, but it brings me a great deal of stress. I always pictured myself getting a full education, having a career, and getting married in my late twenties, sure to date a man for a long, long while before any permanent decisions were made.  I’m a very independent person so this idea suited me. But, as I attended BYU and had roommates getting married, the hype of everything got to me. I started dating a real wonderful guy, and got married when I was 20.

Don’t get me wrong–he’s wonderful. And our relationship is good. But sometimes I have this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I did the wrong thing. There’s this deep, dark, secret space that tells me I picked the wrong guy, got married too soon, or that the marriage is destined for failure in the future. I “hear” this voice so often that I sometimes feel regret about my decisions, and great apprehension about any permanent decisions for the future, whether it be buying a house, having babies or even something that’s not a huge deal, like buying a piano or new computer.

If I weren’t a Mormon, I could probably just hire a lawyer, talk with my husband and say “maybe we rushed into this….” and it could be over.  But because we got married in the temple, we made covenants and promises that make me feel SO guilty even considering the option of leaving a marriage that is practically problem free (at least with the big stuff like abuse or non-compatibility goes. We do have normal problems, like everyone else.) My “marriage prep” class filled my head with a million quotes about how any two righteous people can make a marriage work, that there’s no such thing as “Mr. Right” and that there can be no basis for divorce unless there are some real, real serious issues.

I hate that I feel this way but I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling! I certainly can’t talk to my husband about it, because I don’t want to cause him unnecessary stress, and I feel uncomfortable talking with anyone else about it because it’s so personal.

What in the world should I do?

Mrs. Wrong

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Filed under marriage, young women