A thank you to AMG readers, from the Mormon mother of a 12 year-old daughter attracted to girls.

Dear AMG readers:  This post is for you.  It’s a letter from the mother who sent in last week’s query:  “My 12 year-old daughter says she is attracted to girls.  What’s a Mormon mother to do?”  Please read.

I found myself weeping first through your tender merciful words, then the truly insightful reader comments. I truly hadn’t anticipated that at all. Of course there were I few I could have done without, but I had expected that. But most of them were so helpful, and brought so much experience and knowledge. I myself at the moment have felt that even with my sincerest efforts I am simply just grappling alone in the dark with this, until this past week that is. Its amazing the difference that knowing you aren’t the only one dealing with a situation like this makes to coping. Your readers are just extradordinary, and way above the usual level of internet commentary and should be commended for it. 

I really wanted to share with you is the experience I had with sharing this all with my sweet daughter. I made a decision to show her my letter and your response, and selected some of the best comments for her to read. She wept as she read your account with your father. She related on a deep level with your struggle and we had a long talk about that, and that parallel with Abraham and Isaac. Afterwards she read the reader comments I selected and was especially touched and surprised that strangers took so much time to respond with so much love and support, and found her brave for standing up for who she was. She was purely radiant at that moment. For a mother who has watched her a daughter battle daily with self-image, and seen her literally look in the mirror and say,”I wish I was anyone but me.” It was one of the best days of a mother’s life to see her totally assured of herself, feel so loved, and for once not so very alone in the world. Thank you seems not enough, but thank you from the bottom of my heart…and also please thank your readers who have done more than they could imagine for one little girl at a cross roads, and the mother who loves her more than life. 

Thank you, readers, for being so attentive, and tender, and thoughtful.  Good things happen here at AMG.  You are the reason why.



Filed under social connectedness

7 responses to “A thank you to AMG readers, from the Mormon mother of a 12 year-old daughter attracted to girls.

  1. Natsy

    I honestly burst into tears when I pictured a little girl looking in the mirror and saying “I wish I was anyone but me.” It broke my heart. No one should ever feel that way. I’m glad that you found a safe community that could support you and give your daughter courage and hope. God bless you both!

  2. What? There are people with feelings on the other side of the virtual world? These comments we write online actually find there way somewhere real? I’ll have to remember that. Maybe not every comment can be, or should be, selectable by a mother for her 12-year old daughter, but that does establish a bar to which we should at least occasionally attempt to rise.

  3. I can’t remember the last time I read something that just plain felt this good.

  4. Mike

    You offer a good reminder that our children need our love. Have you read No More Goodbyes? It is very powerful.

  5. Mark

    I love to see the internet bring out the best in people for once. I’m afraid its that sense of anonymity that makes us forget that there are real people on the other side of our comments. We say things online we would probably never say face to face with someone. This is such a beautiful reminder of the responsibility we have to each other,even in the digital age, perhaps especially in the digital age, to be kind and supportive. You may never know the impact of your words.

  6. Dear Mormon Mom,

    Your daughter is blessed to have your support.

    We published a family education booklet for LDS families with lesbian, gay bisexual and transgender (LGBT) children yesterday – the first in a series of educational materials for families from a range of religious backgrounds.

    The booklet is based on our years of research with LGBT youth and families and our experience helping parents, foster parents, families and caregivers learn to support their LGBT children.

    Here’s the link: http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications#family_education

    This might be helpful for family members and others who need more information to understand.

    Caitlin Ryan
    Director, Family Acceptance Project
    SF State University

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